Today would have been my mom’s 66th
birthday. She died from breast cancer
almost fifteen years ago, but I still think about her quite a bit.
This purpose of this post isn’t to elicit your sympathy or
to process my grief, but to honor my mom and to reflect on what she continues
to mean to me.
Without her, I would not be who I am. This is not merely true genetically, but in
almost every other way I can think of. For instance, my mom constantly emphasized the value of reading and education to me
and to my sister even though we were economically hovering near the bottom of
lower middle class through much of my childhood (where, statistically speaking
at least, such things tend to be less emphasized).
My mom was always reading something, usually mysteries. The
closest to science fiction she got were those Jane M. Auel books or Arnold
Schwarzenegger movies (although there her interest was perhaps more in Arnie
than anything else). While other people
claim their hobbies are hiking or sports or whatever makes them sound more
interesting, I say my main hobby is reading.
Maybe this doesn’t sound interesting to some people, but another thing I
learned from my mom was to accept myself for who I am. Besides, books are cool!
My mom had
Bachelor’s degree in sociology that she always valued even though she worked in business rather than sociology. In fifth grade, I discovered that I really liked school (I’ve never really left school since). Even before that, my mom was always very supportive of my
educational aspirations. She continued to support me when it came to going to a private college, majoring in philosophy of all things, and going on a study abroad trip to India. My mom always told me that I probably
wouldn’t make a lot of money and that my student loan payments would be like
having a nice car payment without the nice car, but that I would always be
happy. She turned out to be right about
all of that (of course, she was always right, you just had to ask her!). I think I was the first person in my family
to pursue a graduate degree (my sister later earned a Master's in Library and
Information Science). Even though harsh
job markets make me wary to recommend graduate school in the humanities to
everyone, I am glad things have turned out as they have for me.
I miss my mom incredibly, but I am thankful that she was who
she was so I could be who I am. Her
birthday also gives me an excuse to get what she called a “daily recommended
dose of Dairy Queen.” So, if you'll excuse
me, there’s a hot fudge malt somewhere with my name on it.
Who has contributed to making you who you are?
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