Tuesday, March 13, 2018

The Unfinished Project of Grieving: Thoughts on My Mom's Birthday

Today would have been my mom's 69th birthday.  I don't have much to add beyond what I said last year on this date (which involved thoughts on Dairy Queen and what we owe the deceased).

It did occur to me, now over 17 years after her death, that you're never done grieving.  Grieving is an always unfinished project.  You grieve for your loved ones until, inevitably, someone grieves for you.

Is this depressing?  Maybe.  But I think of it as part of what makes us human.  Grief connects us backwards and forwards to the great chain of humanity.  It is both deeply personal and a basic fact of all human life.

I had my Dairy Queen yesterday because life is getting in the way today.  But I nonetheless continue grieving, whether in frozen dairy form or otherwise.


  1. ~hugs~ My dad died in 1991, my mom in 1996 and my brother in 1998. It's an ongoing process. I still feel connected to them. I still feel the absence of their physical being in this world.

    1. Thanks, Cheryl. Hugs back to you! I think it's important for people to realize that it's normal and healthy to grieve, although it gets easier to live with over time.